haven't been on in forever.

sorry, life got in the way. i go to school now...and i spend most of the time writing poetry...like so:

Forever In The Dark

My feeling of despair
stretches on forever,
i see the light
but then darkness takes flight.

I have lost all feeling
as i numbly lie here,
I stare at the ceiling
no need to feel anymore.

I'm not going to lie
I thought I wanted to die,
but experiencing
death was terrifying.

now you have to plot line
the story of my life,
I can't have whats not mine
I can never have the light.

85 Lines (Of Love)

Shoething is a made up word...it's just a mixture of Shoes and Clothing put together...but it does mean shoes.

****************
"85 Lines (Of Love)"

So I guess you like me?
That's something new,
That I never knew,
That I knew About you.
I guess you talk about me all the time,
I talk about you too,
You're always on my mind,
Your mind is always inside my mind.
So my mind is always on yours?
That's crazed!
Like how you leave me dazed,
And confused,
Like How being with you,
I like a skip though daisies...
Or a walk downtown on pavement.
Pavement scraping the rubber off of the bottom of your shoes,
But the pleasant walks on pavement have to do with the shoes you choose.
Choose your shoes wisely,
Cause, it's the choosing,
Of your shoething,
That will leave you standing,
If the choosing of the shoething,
Was not a wise, shoething choosing.
We walk next to eachother,
Our hands next to, but not holding eachother,
Sometimes, brushing,
Then Lingering,
While lightly air drumming,
With our fingering.
The fingering,
Of course, leading to,
Then lingering on,
A Piano,
Writing,
a song,
Trying,
To convince me to sing.
But I'm not tricked,
Your flirtatious trickery,
Only kinda works on me.
You want me,
To start singing,
But here's what I'm saying,
You're not going to get me to sing.
Not at any hour of morning,
Nor, any hour of Noon,
And certainly not in the evening.
Your Tricky, Trickery,
Can only fool,
What one would call, a fool,
And I'm no fool,
So stop trying,
I'm not singing.
Don't look at me with that look,
Get your gorgeous blue eyes, looking in a direction they can look,
"Please?"
You plead to me,
"Please make your plea again?"
I plea inside my head,
Pleadingly, you plea again,
"Please?"
You give me that look,
"Don't look at me like that..."
I plead,
In a pleadingly plea-ful plea-ing plea,
As if on cue,
The likes of you,
Decide to stare dead at me,
I'm going to die,
Cause you're Killing me dead with your Killer-King,
Killer ways of Killing.
I'm the future Killer-Queen,
You just Don't know this Killer fact yet,
You wrap your dead opposite of dead arms around my waist,
Saying goodbye,
As your Mom's leaving with haste,
"Call me!"
You call to me,
As you walk out the door,
And you leave me
Starstruck, Un-able to breathe anymore.
This is the last thing I remember,
Whenever,
I leave you,
Or when you leave me,
whichever comes before.

JEFFREE FU*KING STAR!! <33

There's this awesome (long ass)quote by Jeffree Star that I like, so I'm gonna post it...
*********************************************************************************************
"I’m a billboard, advertising your aging confidence, self-destruction and sagging self-esteem.
The appearance of my own body is cut and dissected every time I breathe. My horror of beauty is not when I’m laying naked on the bathroom floor, but when I’m staring at myself, wondering what’s underneath the painted-on feelings and made-up eyes. I’m not a fucking beauty queen. When I walk into the bathroom, I’m not getting pretty.. I’m destroying myself. Repairing myself from the damage I’ve done. Whether YOU like it or NOT. The ceiling of fear crashes down on me when I pick up the latest fashion magazine and find that no one else looks like me. But what is ME? Where has the word "real" gone to? Maybe reality is blonde hair, plastic body parts, tan skin and porcelain teeth? I think it’s sweaty skin, smeared lipstick and a big mouth, being afraid of nothing and truly LOVING yourself without BEING someone else. The vanity sanctuary will keep me safe and you can try to break me down but you’re only hurting yourself, just like you’re supposed to be doing..."


there's more to it than that, but......you know...just go to his myspace (http://www.myspace.com/jeffreestar)

Your Eyes

A couple notes about "Your Eyes." First, I was not thinking about Peter Gabriel at all when I named it. Second, There's a picture that goes with it...though it is a female's eye, we'll just pretend it belongs to a male...That's all....



:)



*******************************
YOUR EYES
~~~~~~~~~
You stare into my eyes,
I stare into yours,
We look into each other's,
Waiting to see who looks away first.
I'm usually first to look away,
I titter and look down, but I can still feel you watching me,

When I look into your eyes,
I feel all the warmth of sunlight,
I see all the blue of the skies,
I've found peace in your eyes,

I want to crawl into your arms and let you hold me,
I want to lay my head on your chest and listen to your heart beat as you breathe,
I want to stay with you forever, please,
please God just don't ever leave,

You're velvet heaven,
your voice is silky seduction,
you're so perfect it must be sin,
your hands are like satin against my skin,

Every time I see you,
my heart floats past the moon,
at the sound of your voice, I start to swoon,
and then I know there's perfection, outside of heaven too.

Coalescence

Pt 1.
I said "I love you,"
You said "I love you too,"
On that fatal night we shared,
your purity shattered,
as we shared the deepest form of love,
as we both became one.
The feeling was beautiful, it was perfect,
the night we coalesced,
(together,)
we formed another.

Pt. 2

I love you, though, too,
it's almost like I can't choose between you two,
for you are my brightness,
you are my light,
he is my darkness,
his love would never smite.
I love him, God, it doesn't matter what I do,
but I love you that way too.
even though I know we,
could never, ever as one be.
He wants to go all the way,
but I haven't dated you one day.

Pt. 3
I'm so confused,
Befuddled,
as I cuddled with Him,
I was thinking of the other.
lost in the other's, ocean eyes, their shades of blue,
but I was thinking of Him,
and this love I share for two...


Pt. 4
So as you can see,
this is an awkward position for me...

Tickle Me Black

"Tickle me Black"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You tickle my ribs as you twist the knife in deep,
and ease it out & watch me bleed.
You open my veins and run your bloody fingers through,
all my scars, I owe them to you.
But somehow I still love you;
you bite my neck and drink your fill,
yet you love me too, even when I'm ill.
I bleed black for your pleasure,
as well as mine,
you caress my thigh this time,
as you drink away our tension and pressure,
as I drink your venom...